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Queen's Twitter Message ;-)

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Queen's Twitter Message ;-)

Postby LILOLIL » Wed Aug 01, 2012 11:14 am

Seven years of planning and the Olympics have arrived. Seb Coe had virtually moved into the Palace and one will be glad to see the back of him, to be honest.

The DoE took to asking him to demonstrate the 1,500 metres just to get rid of him.

Had about 95 heads of state and government over for gin cocktails and cheese straws at the Palace this afternoon as a welcome to Britain. "

The Queen of Spain managed to make it after all (the German’s gave her a lift, apparently), which was nice. She said she was not overly fussed about the Olympics but very excited about the possibility of meeting Phillip Schofield (she loves that man).

Kim Jong Un couldn’t make it, which is just as well as we don’t have a North Korean flag. Mitt Romney was due to attend but had to cancel at the last moment (coincidentally at the same time as one had him deported).

James Bond popped over to the Palace to pick one up for the opening ceremony in a helicopter. One had been planning on taking the Bentley but with London at a virtual standstill one thought one might not arrive until the closing. Of course, a trick of the camera made it look like one had parachuted into the stadium, when in fact one simply abseiled.

One had to hand it to Danny Boyle, the main event was very impressive. There was a touching moment when Mr Clegg sang with the rest of his school choir and an awkward moment when Rowan Atkinson did a part as Mr Bean and the President of the International Olympic Committee said he thought Ed Miliband was looking well.

The DoE thought the highlight of the night was the NHS scene, although the part where David Cameron comes on and ceremonially sacks the nurses was cut due to shortage of time.

Not entirely sure what the French commentary was all about. One texted Danny Boyle and pointed out that we are on the right side of the channel over here and that seemed to sort it out. Talking of which, Angela Merkel called to say how happy she was that this wasn’t taking place anywhere else in Europe (presumably because she’d be paying for it).

The usual parade of athletes served to remind us all that there are strictly speaking far too many countries in the world. The DoE and I played “spot the ones we own”, which is like a kind of colonial bingo, to pass the time. Surely that’s more countries than we actually need. Are all of them real? Popped a few that looked like they could do with parliamentary democracy, railways and roads etc. On one’s shopping list for future reference.

The DoE had bought Lord Coe a “Dummies Guide to World Flags” so all seemed to go without a hitch. The Commonwealth flags are the best, let’s be honest. Had seriously considered giving the USA the Union Flag to parade under but it was generally felt they wouldn’t appreciate the joke.

After what seemed like a lifetime of flags and a speech by Lord Coe, which was at least twice as long as he was strictly allocated, one kept one’s speech short and sweet (much like oneself) and did the necessary opening. The world was once again reminded that the Olympic anthem is far too long before the symbolic lighting of the cauldron.

The flame arrived by speedboat, courtesy of David Beckham’s new river taxi business. One wasn’t sure what else to do with him, to be honest; clearly a speech was out of the question. The cauldron was lit by the next generation of British athletes and Camilla threw a fag end into a special box to start the fireworks before Mr Bean ended the show with a Paul McCartney impression.

Headed back to the palace for an Olympic sized gin and tonic with no tonic and retired safe in the knowledge that nobody does it better than the British. Your Queen loves you.
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Re: Queen's Twitter Message ;-)

Postby Sagitar » Wed Aug 01, 2012 11:38 am

That's excellent. Thank you.
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